Giving Birth to death
I sat alone in a cold, bright room. I knew they did their best cleaning the rooms and equipment with soap and water, but it still felt so dirty to me. Many people who came to get help from the doctors often left going home sicker than when they came, if they came home at all.
Uncomfortable, I adjusted in my seat. The door squeaked as the doctor entered the room. His smile brightened the room and my heart filled with dread. "Congratulations!" He said. "You are pregnant, we think you are 7 to 8 months along." We both knew this was a rough guesstimate and a potential death sentence. Only a select few women lived through childbirth. I had known I was pregnant for a while; however, I was fainting when I stood up quickly, I had gained a lot of weight all of the sudden, and I was swelling up like a balloon. I smiled politely back at him. "What about the problems I am having?" "Oh, Ms. Moore you will be fine just take one of these pills twice a day." The doctor said.
My body continued to struggle. My face and hands were swole up like a paper bag. Similar to when someone breathes into it so that they don't pass out, which I had been doing a lot of lately. I went back to the doctor when the pills they gave me didn't work. They told me there was nothing more they could do. There was very little medically they could do for anyone. They had no way to see what was going on with mother or the baby. Their medicine did not truly help with issues during pregnancy. I was only able to carry my baby for three more very long weeks. Not quite long enough to reach full term.
I was still unprepared for the baby. I needed to get my baby's bed finished and fold all of my baby’s tiny clothes. I had to make sure I had enough clean rags, pots, and water for myself while giving birth. It was the middle of the night when I awoke to the urgent feeling that I need to get all of these things done right now. So, by the light of the moon, because I did not want to wake up the other family members in the house, I tumultuously toiled around our house getting each task done. One by one, it felt like it had only taken moments to accomplish all of the tasks at hand even though in reality it had taken a few hours. The day had still not broken in the sky. Lately, the energy I had was few and far between. After I had finished laboring, I laid back down. It was still the middle of the night. I was slowly falling back to sleep, I felt myself drift off into the darkness. As I started to float towards unconsciousness, I felt a warm trickle down my leg. I sat straight up and somehow, I felt surprised even though I had known this is going to happen. The moment I sat up liquid cascaded out of my body and on to the bed sheets. I was momentarily transformed into a spasmatic waterfall. I found this ridiculous and annoying. I felt excited, scared, embarrassed, and sad all at the same time. It was intense, like nothing I had encountered before or after.
I ever so gently roused my husband from his slumber. He sat up as though he had been electrocuted, hair and all. He leaped out of bed and started pacing through the house, completing half projects absentmindedly. Halfway through getting dressed he paused and looked at me, he cracked a grin to top all grins. "Honey, we are going to have a baby." He proclaimed. I smiled back at him feeling his excitement, warmth, and love.
I got out of bed and turned around to pull the contaminated sheets off. I washed them while I took a bath. When I got out of the bath, I called my midwife. I felt small spasms that quickly escaped my body. It went on and off like this for hours. Hours that seemed like days. Finally, the pain started coming more frequently and it was sharper, stronger. I caught myself gnashing my teeth together, like the deadly jaws of a Pitbull, unable to let go. Beads of sweat ran down my forehead, they were cold and annoying. Waves of pain coursed through my body, it felt like lightning splitting the sky in the middle of a storm. Congealed liquid dripped off my thighs. Blood coursed through my veins, and maybe a little on the floor too. Then all of the sudden my body relaxed the pain went away. I could hear my midwife's voice softly whisper to me. I felt exhausted and disorientated.
Suddenly, I felt a need to push. My entire body contorted. With my teeth gritted together, I pushed as hard as I could. My face became swollen even more. It was like I was trying to move a brick wall with my bare hands. Nothing would budge. Nothing was coming out. My heart was pounding, banging up and down in my chest, like a sledgehammer. My brain felt like it is on fire, the pain was indescribable. I could feel myself gradually slip away. At first, I had all my senses but ever so reluctantly I started to lose touch with my senses and my surroundings. I lost the ability to taste, no longer could I taste the sweat exuding from every pour in my body. Then smell, the wafting fragrance of blood was no longer a problem. Then touch, I no longer felt the death grip that I had on my husband's hand, that ever so gently faded away. Then vision, like a shooting star fades from the night's sky. Last I lost the ability to hear my frenzied midwife and husband in the background who were concerned. And then I was gone, just like that.
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